Kill my Landlord

Do you have a landlord that you would like to have 5 minutes in a locked room with? What kind of things has your landlord done that you think they need to have their ass whipped for? What did you do about it? Or do you have a friend who has a story that you can share. What about tenant rights? Why can a tenant live in your place, change the locks and not have to give you a key? Why can a tenant not pay rent for 6 months before you can kick them out? Anything you got on this topic, we want to hear...